Las 50 perlas de Noel (I)

En esta época donde abundan sobremanera listas y más listas sobre lo peor, lo mejor, lo más in y lo más out del año, la década o la historia de la música o de la humanidad misma, el semanario británico New Musical Express se desmarca en cierto modo de esa tendencia publicando las 50 perlas que el bueno de Noel Gallagher ha espetado a la prensa a lo largo de su (cada vez más) dilatada carrera (concretamente celebran su vigésimo año en este negocio). Opiniones acerca de los temas más variopintos. Os dejamos con la primera entrega, creo que os divertiréis. Perdón por adelantado a los no anglo parlantes.

1. Sobre ser un roadie: "I look back on those days as some of the best of my life. No fotographs, no interviews. Just get up in the morning, make sure the gear works, do the gig and then fucking party".(Blender. Agosto 2008)

2. Acerca del propio NME: "If you see an NME journalist at any of the gigs (and let's face it, they're pretty easy to spot; they don't stray far from hospitality, wear God-awful clothes - particularly the shoes - got dreadful hair and that kind of "mug me" look about them), give 'em a clip round the earhole from me and tell 'em to behave." (Myspace. Junio 2009)

3. Sobre ir cumpliendo años: "I don’t stay up for two or three days on end, fuckin’ talking shit about aliens, but I’m becoming more of a belligerent old man, you know what I mean? It’s the usual. When you get to a certain age you find that other people’s opinions don’t really matter anymore, and you get kind of uncomfortable with your place in modern life." (The Clash. Octubre 2008)

4. En cuanto a frívolas adquisiciones: "I had built for me a customized 1967 Mark II Jaguar convertible at a cost of £110,000, and I haven’t got a driving license. It’s useless to me." (Blender. Agosto. 2008)

5. Acerca de la ambición: "You want to sell 5,000 limited-edition red vinyl seven-inches, that's fine. Make music for a closet full of people in Bradford somewhere ... but it doesn't mean anything to anyone. Phil Collins has got to be chased out of the charts, and Wet Wet Wet. It's the only way to do it, man, to fucking get in there among them and stamp the fuckers out." (The Guardian. Septiembre de 1994)

6. Sobre su propio funeral: "I'm not really bothered 'cause I won't be there. I don't give a shit." (Melody Maker. Diciembre 1998)

7. Repondiendo a cómo toca la guitarra: "I'm average at fucking best." (Total Guitar. Enero 2009)


8. Sobre la muerte de la música de guitarra: "They've been saying it for 30 years, ever since The Beatles split up, you know, that rock'n'roll's dead. When ever there's a boom there's always a bit of a lull afterwards. I suppose that avant garde punk rock will come back for a while, and it will all be shit again, and then guitar music will come back." (Total Guitar. Diciembre 1998)

9. Sobre su vida durante la giras responde Noel: "Got thrown out of a taxi this morning. At least I think I did. Hard to tell over here. There was shouting and pointing and then the international hand signal for 'Get the fuck out of my cab, you western dog!'" (Myspace. Marzo 2009)

10. Acerca de la prensa: "Well, they're just waiting for us to make some monumental f---up, and they hope to be around when it happens. We've got to get one step ahead of those fellows." (San Francisco Chronicle. Enero 1998)

11. En cuanto a los arrepentimintos dice: "I wish we'd let '(What's the Story) Morning Glory?' settle and go away. It was still Number 5 in the Billboard 100 when we started making 'Be Here Now'. I wish someone who's paid to be bright and clever had told us to go away and do a bit of living." (Spin. Septiembre 2009)

12. Acerca de la posibilidad de un álbum en directo respondía Noel: "We're going to do a live album when I run out of ideas for songs, or if Liam starts writing Oasis songs (ha ha ha)." (New York Rock. Diciembre 1997)

13. Sobre el "being wankers" de Kaiser Chiefs: "Well, they are, though. The worst thing about them is that they’re not very good. They play dress-up and sit on top of an apex of meaninglessness. They don’t mean anything to anybody apart from their fucking ugly girlfriends." (Time Out: Chicago. Dicembre 2008)

14. Cuando le pregunta sobre tocar la guitarra el líder de Oasis responde: "It's a human playing a tree. Three chords on a guitar: now write a song. I only know 11! But I tell you what, God help you when i find the 12th!" (NME. Septiembre 2001)

15. Acerca de las drogas: "If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a shitload." (Parkinson. Noviembre 2006)

16. Sobre la música: "Writing songs, that's what gets me going. Not the drugs or the sex or the rock'n'roll behaviour, it's the music." (The Guardian. Septiembre 2009)

17. Acerca de Jay-Z: "What did I think of Jay-Z doing 'Wonderwall'? It was pretty funny. But I’m not sure one should be seen in public with a white Stratocaster." (Blender. Agosto 2008)

18. Sobre Keane: "I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they’ll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into onto his cock people would go ‘Yeah but your dad was a vicar, good night’." (Herald Sun. Octubre 2008)

19. En cuanto al moshpit (agresivo modo de bailar): "It seems like you've got these gigs where it'll be the front three rows of people in this big massive hole but there's geezers running around, punching each other...singing like 'Live Forever'...totally missing the point." (Indepth. Marzo 1995)

20. Acerca de sus relaciones fraternales: "I like to think I keep it real. Liam keeps it surreal, and somewhere between the two we get on all right." (The Daily Telegraph. Febrero 2007)


21. Preguntado acerca de la peor torutra psicológica posible, Noel contesta: "Being sat beside Liam on a 15-hour flight. It happened just the once, going to Japan or somewhere. It's just horrible." (Melody Maker. Diciembre 1999)

22. Sobre el calentamiento global: "You can’t blame rock stars for global warming when the Chinese, the Indians and the Americans have been pumping out shit into the atmosphere for the last 100 years." (Herald Sun. Octubre 2008)

23. Sobre las descargas gratuítas: "I’m not giving my records away for free. If nobody fuckin' buys them then... They’re not going out for free." (The Clash. Octubre 2008)

24. Acerca de Liam: "He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup." (Q. Abril 2009)

25. Su opinión acerca de los Beckham: "Why is Posh Beckham writing a fucking book of her memoirs? she can't even chew chewing gum and walk in a fucking straight line at the same time, let alone write a book."


Yo ya te lo dije